I am sorry…

To my baby,

I am so sorry.

 I am sorry I have to go back to work in 2 weeks, believe me it has been one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. I just love spending every second of my life with you; you are my favourite person in the whole entire world and I would never choose to be apart from you.

I am sorry I won’t be with you all the time anymore. There have been many days I have cried just at the thought of leaving your side and leaving you in the hands of someone else. I want to be the person who is there when you say your first ever word, watch you take your first steps on your own, watch your face when you eat something new you don’t like, help you crawl for the first time, listen to the new little sounds you make, help you learn new things, pick you up when you fall down, just everything.

I am sorry life isn’t always fair but I am doing this so we can have a good life together. I am doing this so you have new toys to play with, so you can have a special first birthday party, so you can learn how to swim with new friends, so you can have nutritious healthy foods, so we have a nice home to live in and I can provide for everything you need!

However I need you to know I am not just leaving you with anybody, I hated the idea of leaving you with a childminder and you not getting all of the attention and love you need. I hated the idea of leaving you in a nursery I just didn’t feel comfortable leaving you there. So, I found you the perfect Nanny. She loves you so very much. I trust her with my life to take care of you and all of your needs. I would never leave you with someone I didn’t really know so your Auntie Ellie is taking care of you!

But I am still sorry it’s not me. I will think of you every second I am gone because you are my baby, I love you so so so much I could pop! For the next 2 weeks we are doing something new every single day and we are going to have so much fun I have so much planned for us! We are meeting all your friends at soft that we met at baby massage, we are trying out some new baby groups/classes to find out which you love doing best and we are going to see every single family member you could possibly think of!

You have no idea how much I am going to miss your smiles and giggles every single day. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life, I feel so guilty but it’s something I have to do. I hope you understand

Love you forever and always bubba




Your recent firsts

Hi Baby

So over the past few weeks or so you have just bloomed out of nowhere! All of a sudden you’ve just become so grown up and doing all these new things I just can’t keep up. You are now 27 ½ weeks old and you’ve got such a cool little personality you make me laugh every single day. Whenever I am feeling low you just show off one of your new moves or give me a little smile, instantly my mood is lifted.

You’re sitting up so well at the moment; you make me laugh because you use one of your arms to lean back on and to hold you up, you look so chilled out it’s so funny. You started sitting up by yourself at around 21 weeks but you were a little wobbly so we had to keep an eye on you. You reminded me of one of those little weeballs that stay up for a little while then you just fall back down with no emotion on your face haha.. But you have come so far you’re doing really well at the moment, you’re making Mummy & Daddy really proud of all your recent achievements. We just love watching you grow and learn every single day; it’s amazing how you have taught yourself so many new things in such a small amount of time. Your only 6 months old…

So just after Christmas you also shocked us all when you started moving around in your walker!! We used your walker at Nannys house when you just started sitting up because it had light up toys on the front and you suddenly discovered a hate for lying down. So one night at Nannys you were sitting in your walker as usual, and then all of a sudden you started moving around, slowly but surely. We was all so excited so we praised you saying ‘Yayyyy well done Reuben’, then you just kept going and going getting quicker and quicker. In the space of about 15 minutes you were literally running around the kitchen with this massive smile on your face full of excitement looking so impressed with yourself! It was one of those moments I knew I was always going to remember, you were so pleased it was the cutest thing and I have the best videos of it all! By the way my phone is basically full of your gorgeous little face.

Another of your recent first is your rolling over; ever since you started you just will not stop. At first Daddy and I was really encouraging you by putting a toy next to you to make you push yourself to roll over and now all we do is flip you back over on your back! We were so proud when you first rolled and it was such an exciting achievement but every time I change your nappy you want to flip yourself over! I mean you make nappy changing a mission lol. Or if I try to give you a quick clothing change and it’s just never quick because all you want to do is roll over onto your front! It’s funny talking about it but it’s not funny when I’m in the process of changing a pooey nappy and you decide to try and roll over and stick your foot straight in your own poop. It’s just one of those things that come with my Mum status I suppose!

Anyway Reuben, Mummy & Daddy are so so proud of you words cannot describe how proud you make us feel as parents. All these recent achievements are overwhelming and we love watching you discover new things your body can do and teaching yourself how to do new things. You always have this massive smile on your face and you lift your shoulders when you’re happy with yourself, I have plenty of pictures to show you it’s so sweet!

We love you sky high bubba bear x